Something I always promise my players at the beginning of sessions is this:

“My commitment to you is that I will always communicate truth with love. I will give you hard truths because you deserve to be believed in, but I will never make you feel small.”

The commitment to giving hard truths is the blessing and curse that comes with the leadership journey.

And the hard truth is… most of us are not comfortable with truth.

But I don’t think it’s because we don’t want to hear the truth.

I think it’s because we are really bad at having difficult conversations.

And that is precisely where hard truths are founded.

Difficult conversations are important. I’ve never met a successful person who hasn’t learned how to have them.

We must be able to handle them when they’re brought to us.
We must be able to present them when the time calls for it.

The question is not:
“Do they want to hear the truth?”
We owe people the truth.

If we can all agree on that, the question then becomes:

How do we get better at difficult conversations?

Well… just like your jumpshot, it really only takes two core concepts:

1. Evidence-Based Technique
2. Uncomfortable Practice

And also like your jumpshot, no one can practice for you.

But what you can do is learn from existing models.
And the one I’m about to share with you has drastically improved my growth over the last three years.

It’s helped me maintain relationships, gain respect from peers and supervisors, and build confidence in confrontation—a place I’ve never naturally felt comfortable.

This technique is something I learned as a byproduct of my PGC Basketball training.

It’s called:

The Breakthrough Conversation

And I am SO serious… it’s the ultimate formula to make difficult conversations significantly less daunting.

I’ll outline the technique first, then share a real-life example of how it saved one of my most important friendships.

Five Steps to Owning a Difficult Conversation

1. Make sure you’ve reflected first.

It’s possible you caused the misunderstanding.
And that’s okay — the conversation still needs to happen.

But if you aren’t ready to acknowledge your part, you’re not ready to have the conversation.

Give yourself time if needed.

2. Find a time that works for everyone.

No one likes being blindsided.

This step allows the other person to prepare emotionally and mentally.

Example:
“Hey, there’s something important I want to talk about. Is now a good time? If not, when works for you?”

3. Start with — and agree on — the facts.

Before interpretations or emotions, establish what actually happened.

Example:
“The other day, I shared some big news with you, and you said one sentence and walked away. Would you agree that’s what happened?”

4. Offer interpretations.

We all see the world differently.

Remove the word you as much as possible.

Bad example:
“You made me feel like you didn’t care.”

Good example:
“When I didn’t hear much excitement from you, it made me feel unimportant.”

Share without interruption, then give them the space to do the same.

5. Find a solution & recommit.

Now that everything is on the table:

“Okay, this was a bummer. How can we prevent this from happening again?”

Make a shared plan moving forward.

How a Difficult Conversation Saved a Friendship

At the beginning of our journey to become PGC Directors, my friend Jasmine and I trained together constantly.

When she told me she’d been chosen to Direct the upcoming session, I congratulated her…

…but inside, something in me broke.

I walked away quickly to hide it — and later cried in the equipment closet.

Not because I wasn’t happy for her.
But because I was devastated I wasn’t chosen too.

My boss eventually explained that Jasmine was further along in her journey than I was.
Looking back, he was right.

But it still hurt.

I put my head down, focused on being the best basket coach I could, and planned to support Jasmine fully.

The Breakthrough

The night before camp, Jasmine approached me:

“Bri, do you have a second to talk about something important?”

She told me she noticed my reaction that day — my short answer, my quick exit — and it made her feel like I didn’t believe in her.

My body language had betrayed me. Again.

And so, we used the model:

The facts → interpretations → solutions → recommitment

The conversation went beautifully.

We laughed.
We cried.
We clarified.
We recommitted.

Breakthrough badge: achieved.

The session was incredible.
Jasmine was phenomenal.
And our friendship strengthened — all because she had the courage to speak up, and I had the courage to hear her.

A Younger Version of Me…

…would’ve taken it personally.

I would’ve felt accused.
Gotten defensive.
Avoided the conversation entirely.
Let the friendship slip.

Because that’s the easy thing to do.

But things that matter deserve real conversations — even when they’re hard.

Especially when they’re hard.

You Need to Have That Conversation

I know there is at least one conversation you’ve been avoiding.

With a teammate.
A coach.
A parent.
A partner.
A co-worker.
A friend.

You’re equipped now.

Re-read the steps.
Get uncomfortable.
Say the hard thing with love.

The fear you feel is normal.
And it’s proof that the conversation means something.

Everything Is Rooted in Love

Misunderstandings often come from:

Feeling unseen.
Feeling unappreciated.
Feeling unloved.

I didn’t feel love when Jasmine told me she was Directing.
Jasmine didn’t feel love when I walked away from her big news.

If we can learn to speak truth in a way that honors love first — we can navigate anything better.

Lean into courage.
Lean into honesty.
Lean into growth.

If you were ready for it, it wouldn’t be called growth.

This week I’ve been in LA wrapping up my last break until November.
On Sunday, I head to Phoenix to lead my first solo PGC session of the year, and have my first meeting with a potential Boosta partner.

Big things coming. :)

I’ll see you next blog.

Shooters Shoot,
BriAnna